If you go to the pet store and can’t decide between a cat or a bird, and you get the cat, you don’t take it home and train it to fly. It’s not going to work, and all you’re going to end up with is a short temper and a lot of broken little kitty legs. No, you take that cat home and train it to be the best damn cat on the block. It might not do laps around the ceiling or sing you pretty songs, but I’d like to see a parakeet keep snakes off the lawn.

That’s from a writeup of last night’s Mariners game at Lookout Landing.